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Take Another Pipe - Super Mario Bros Movie

Ok, so I now understand why there are so many critics divided on this film. There will be no spoilers for this one as it is so new. I can easy see the good in the film, but I also can’t ignore the blatant issues that are present. So, let's-a-go.

Picture from Pluggedin

I really enjoyed the portrayal of Princess Peach. She was a powerful, fairly well written character that did not need to step on the male characters to stand out from the rest. Although, there was something.... off about her actual character model. Her face was more, pointy maybe? It wasn't bad, but it was, strange was all. The environments were breath-takingly spectacular. So well, designed. Hit right in the nostalgia. Many things were done so very right in regard to keeping to the video games. From the blocks to the world building, everything had a proper place from the games.

Picture by Engadget

Now, here are some issues. The movie has glaring pacing issues and a plot so razer thin you'd be forgiven if you missed it amongst all the easter eggs literally and figuratively shoved in your face. From the very first image to the very last, there was easter eggs. I get it. It's a thing now to hide all this stuff, but wow. I felt like I was watching Rise of Skywalker again or something. It was like Nintendo knew that there was no substance to the movie, so they had to hit everyone time, and time, and time, and time again with nostalgia hits. After a very short while, I found myself no longer looking for them because there was waaaaay too many. 

Picture from CNET

Jack Black as Bowser steals the show. Watching the film, I would start to nod off a bit, and then bam! Bowser would be on screen and I'm back into the movie. I literally started to head-bob by the end of the movie. I felt like there was nothing happening. There's a whole "Side mission" I'll call it to get help against Bowser....that they never get to use anyways. Like the whole casino scenes in Last Jedi, you could take these entire scenes out and it wouldn't affect the "plot" at all. These scenes in the Mario Bros movie were specifically and only to have a reason to again hit those nostalgic beats. Choosing Seth Rogan to voice Donkey Kong, in my opinion, was a mistake. Just, period. His voice acting was lazy, unemotional and he didn't seem like he cared at all. DK was very flat from a personality perspective, which I guess thinking about it again, maybe Seth was right for it after all. *Shrugs

Picture by IMdB

Another small issue I had was for a Mario bros movie, Mario...well....doesn't really do very much at all. It's really about the rest of the characters coming together, kinda', to fight Bowser. The movie suffered from not figuring out if it's a realistic movie or a game movie, because sometimes the real world things like gravity and time matter, and others, well, they just don't. Also, they couldn't figure out how their own in-universe stuff worked. Like why does Mario need to eat mushrooms to get the effects of theme when he (and everyone else) can just touch everything else to get their effects like a Fireflower? Why are things like Bullet Bills "alive" and thinking where the Piranha plants are now (Mostly?) mechanical? There were tons of examples of things ripped from the games and shoved in, but with absolutely not context or consistency. The best example is why can some blooks float in this world but not everything does? All they needed to have was one line of dialogue saying "Kamek's magic ran wild through the kingdom a long time ago" and like that, it's all explained and fine. Not well, but it's something at least. Again, this likely would not have been an issue at all, but they started Mario in New York, so he "knows" real world physics and such, yet almost never questions what is going on in the Kingdom.

Picture by Universal Pictures

Please don't take this out of context; I didn't hate the film, but I certainly didn't like it either. I was very "Meh" about it. I can totally understand someone absolutely loving this film, but I also could field someone on my shoulder that feels like their childhood was destroyed by this. It's going to be a very divisive movie to say the least.

Picture by Yahoo Finance

Should you go see it in the theatre? This was a tough one. *Sigh. Hard to say. You know what, maybe on a Tuesday when the seats are cheaper, then it's worth it. Don't pay full price for it. Remember: I watch these, so you don't have to. 


Overall score: 4 out of 10 stars

Pros:

- Nintendo took the movie seriously this time. 
- The environments were amazingly detailed and complete. 
- The cast of characters was generally great and very well recieved from the heroes to the villains alike. 

Cons:

- No plot at all. (Yes, I realize there is one, but it's so thin...) 
- Movie has an identity crisis of "is it real or is it a game". 
- Some of the voice acting was just not on par with what is expected from CG films these days.


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