Ratings Central - Movies

Watching the trailer for The Ice Cream Man left me puzzling over its identity. I couldn't pin down if I was in for a tense thriller, a funny horror romp in the vein of Cooties , or the grim launch of the next big slasher franchise. Oh my god, please tell me it is not the last, because this project was a failure in almost every conceivable metric, period. Normally, I'd break down the minutiae of a film's architecture in my reviews, but this production simply isn't worth the effort of even my usual writings. Image by IMDb The Only Cherry on Top Let’s start with the positives, mostly because it will take significantly less time. The gore effects are executed extremely well. The fake blood actually looks right, the internal organs look like genuine organs, and the kills themselves were okay. If you are exclusively trying to learn the art of gore, there is something to observe here. Image by Dread Central A Portfolio Piece Disguised as a Feature That is exactly where the go...

I walked into the theater clinging to the memory of what a Christopher Nolan picture used to be. The murmurs surrounding The Odyssey were fractured, but I bought my ticket banking on the director's track record for boundary-pushing spectacle. I expected the intricate craftsmanship that defined his prime. Instead, as the credits rolled, I was staring at a screen that had just projected two hours of a director surrendering his signature vision to the Hollywood assembly line, trading his artistry for a painfully generic studio mandate. Image by The Cornell Daily Sun A Mediterranean Coat of Paint A Greek mythology epic needs to breathe the dust of the Aegean, but this simply doesn’t. When you watch Clash of the Guardians , Troy , or even Hercules (to a lesser extent, I suppose), they ground you in the bronze and dirt of antiquity; you feel like they belong in the era. The Odyssey , however, completely lacks that localized heartbeat. It operates like a standard, modern action flick th...

Whenever a new web-slinger adventure swings into theaters, my ticket is already bought. He has always been my favorite comic superhero, so I walked into the cinema closely watching how a cinematic universe would function in a reality where absolutely no one remembers Peter Parker. The slate was wiped entirely clean, leaving a massive question mark over the narrative. Fortunately, this fresh start absolutely sticks the landing, delivering an experience that fires on all cylinders and proves the new status quo works. Image by MarvelCinematicUniverse.Fandom.com Peak Web-Head Representation Let's get one thing straight: this is not my favorite Spider-man movie. That crown remains firmly on the head of Tobey Maguire's Spider-man 2. However, I will happily argue that Brand New Day gives us the single best on-screen representation of the character himself. The balancing act is finally perfect: the witty humor is razor-sharp, the action sequences are impossibly fast and agile, and the ...

I spent my childhood glued to the television, basking in the glory of He-Man and his battle for Castle Grayskull. Since then, the franchise has been dragged through the mud. The last live-action adaptation was utterly terrible, an absolute chore to sit through. Then came Masters of the Universe: Revelations, a project that bafflingly sidelined He-Man in favor of Teela. Pathetic. So, when word broke that another live-action version was on the way, I braced myself for a film that would either apologize for the original's muscular absurdity or subvert it into oblivion. My arms were crossed before the lights even dimmed. But then the screen lit up, and by the time the credits rolled, my jaw was on the floor. They actually made a campy, lore-accurate joyride that works exactly as it should. Image by Wikipedia Embracing the Absurdity The film doesn't pull its punches, yet it manages to remain super campy in the absolute best ways possible. For a project like this, taking itself too s...

I stepped into The Backrooms—no pun intended—completely unsure of the architectural layout of this adaptation. Would it stubbornly cling to the sprawling internet lore, or was this going to be a heavy-handed, ground-up reimagining? As the credits rolled, I realized it was entirely neither. I sat there in the dark, watching the fluorescent lights flicker on screen, processing a film that stubbornly refused to pick a lane. Image by Reddit Lost Without a Map (or Lore) The plot is almost non-existent. But let's be honest, that is par for the course here. You buy a ticket to see what is wandering the humming, yellow-carpeted hallways, not why the hallways were built in the first place. That said, leaving the origins entirely blank is a glaring weakness. If you don't walk in with prior knowledge of the series or the creepy pasta, you are left completely in the dark. I am no expert in the lore myself, but even I could readily see that the rules presented here were fairly different fro...

I walked into the theater bracing for a specific kind of disappointment, the sort that usually follows high-concept sci-fi where the "alien" is a glorified sock puppet or a distracting pile of pixels. My expectations were a coin toss between a gripping space drama and a hokey B-movie mess that would require a massive amount of internal forgiveness to sit through. I sat in the dark, prepared to squint past the strings, only to find my skepticism evaporating before the first thruster ignited. Image by Wikipedia The Gosling Standard Ryan Gosling doesn’t just lead this film; he grounds the entire improbable universe. It is one thing to carry a scene, but it is quite another to make me entirely forget I was watching a man interact with a puppet. His performance is so seamless and sincere that the silliness of the idea simply vanishes. Whether he was portraying the wholesome budding of a cross-species friendship or the sheer, jagged distress of trying to communicate with a literal ...