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No Honey For Pooh (Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey review)

 Ok let's get this one over with. Now, to say I was intrigued when I heard that no only had Winnie The Pooh's copyright changed to Public, but that someone was already making a horror movie based on the events at the 100 Achre Woods, would have been an understatement. I knew not to expect much from this, but the premise was golden: a childhood story retold definitely not how you remember it. I was hoping to see a dark fairy tale like the original Three Little Pigs story or the original Hansel and Grettle story (PS if you haven't read those original stories, they're pretty horific to say the least). What we got...well....the budget for this movie was 100k. That's what you got. Don't forget, Downy Jr. Made millions alone just to be in Infinity War, so 100k budget for everything in the film....sounds like a dumster fire. Oh yes, the flames were high on this one.

Photo by Jagged Edge Entertainment

So, although I liked the idea for the movie, it was completely predictable, droll and almost comical (not on purpose). To make these creatures like Pooh and Piglet "real", the film adapts them into ferral, human-best creatures, which on it's own sounds ok, but it really losses it's luster fast. Especially when there is just no doubting at all that these "creatures" are people with masks on. They didn't even try to hide it, or use CGI to make them more real. Nothing. I actually felt kinda' like I was watching a worse version of Friday the 13th Part 2, where Jason has the bag on his head. It's jarring, unnatural and unintentionally hilarioius. There were certainly parts where I literally said out loud "look! She's going to have her top ripped off to show the audience some nudity, then she will die!" and sure enough, it happened. I swear I almost felt Jason Voorhees' head poke around the corner of a tree once in a while like "Hey! That's my motto!".

Photo by Fathom Events/ITN Studios

The action and acting is easily sub-par even for an indie film. There's little I can say about the movie in a good light actually. Oh I got one! The animated story at the beginning was well crafted, writen and drawn! Yeah I did it! I found the one good thing!

In all seriousness, the movie gives you a taste of what you think might be to come, introducing hard topics like metal illness, abandonment, resentment, Stockholm Syndrome, PTSD etc but unfortunately throws all of that in the bin almost immidiately to go for the average slasher film vibe. This may have worked for someone out there, but Winnie-the-Pooh was never going to stand toe-to-toe with the likes of Ghostface, Jason, Freddy or Myers. The film would have been better if it had just decided to stick with the hard themes and use it's own voice to tell the story, rather than trying to shoe-horn it's-self into a specific genre of horror. 

Photo by Jagged Edge Entertainment

I think rewritten as a psychological horror or thriller could actually have worked, but as is, I regret losing the hour and a half I had to watch it. Save yourself the trouble. I watched it so you don't have to.


Overall score: 3 out of 10 stars

Pros:
- Childhood story made as a horror movie!
- Opening animation was well scripted and animated.

Cons:
- The killers' special effects and/or masks, wardrobe etc was absolutely terrible.
- Not enough suspense, thrills and/or horror. 
- No character arcing for anyone, at all. Not even an attempt. "Here's generic person about to die" kind of writing.

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